Hi there. I’m 18. No, wait, 19. Maybe 35? Or even 12. Sometimes. The thing
is, I am supposed to be an adult. I have rights, such as marrying, drinking (not
in Lithuania though), driving, voting or going to jail. And I also have
responsibilities now. Taxes, for instance. Or earning money. You know, adult
things. When I was little (am I not anymore?) I used to dream about who I will become when I grow up. Sometimes
I still do and then I catch myself. And I stop. Who will I become when I get older sounds more suitable perhaps? Am I still allowed to say ‘grow up’? (So many questions)
What defines adulthood? Refined food taste? I do
prefer dark chocolate over gummy bears now. Drinking coffee and other active substances
could count too, right? Musical preferences? Classical music is not as boring
as it used to sound. Sleeping habits? Independency? Need to work on that a bit more.
Intellect? Well, some kids get into best universities before even turning 16. But we can start with wisdom, which we
probably don’t have yet. Does growing up really have to do anything with age? A
bit, perhaps.
Trying
to decide if you are an adult yet did not go very well, however, we can try
determining if one is still a child. Is it when you look at the clouds lying
on the grass and are able to see more than clouds. By more, I mean giraffes, Moomins,
turtles and other mysteriuos creatures. Or when you fail to consider feelings
of others by acting greedy in petty situations. Or when you do not plan your future.
And eat way too much candy and crisps even though you know you shouldn‘t. Are
you a child if you actually know the answers? Children are quite confident and assured
when asked something... It seems like they know things. And that
knowledge is slowly waning as we grow up and face life and scepticism. Maybe
being a child also means drawing on the sides of your notebooks and in
textbooks on top of the pictures of famous people. Churchill lacks a nice
moustache, doesn‘t he? The question is, what if you still do all of that
even while being an adult? Technically.
Am I a grown - up individual? Yes. Am I though? No. We can speak in thesis and antithesis.
Am I mature? Well, yes but no. Can you feel like a 15-year-old child and 35
year-old-adult at the same time? Is it even related to age? Or are these just
the different sides of one‘s personality? So many questions and, once again, no
answers. But does anyone know them? We spend all our lives looking for answers
to different issues and some adults really do look like they have found something.
Perhaps they are just really good at playing their role and carrying on with
their duties. Can you be a child all your life? Or maybe everyone is just a
child of a different size in a way (I sound like some kind of a lame
psychological book for housewives and I don‘t like it, but let's proceed, shall we?).
In
conclusion, no conclusion. I don‘t have any answers (is it a sign of maturity or,
on the contrary, childishness?)
And here are some thoughts by Joseph Brodsky about...well, it is up to you to decide what it is about..
And here are some thoughts by Joseph Brodsky about...well, it is up to you to decide what it is about..
A Lecture at the Sorbonne
You should study philosophy, at best,
After fifty. Build a model
Of society, all the more so. First you should
Learn to make soup, fry (if not catch)
Fish, make decent coffee.
Otherwise, moral laws
Smack of dad’s belt or a translation
From the German. You first should
Learn how to lose rather than gain,
Loathe yourself more than the tyrant,
Shell out half your measly paycheck on rent
For years on end before holding forth
On the triumph of justice. Which always comes
At least twenty-five years too late.
After fifty. Build a model
Of society, all the more so. First you should
Learn to make soup, fry (if not catch)
Fish, make decent coffee.
Otherwise, moral laws
Smack of dad’s belt or a translation
From the German. You first should
Learn how to lose rather than gain,
Loathe yourself more than the tyrant,
Shell out half your measly paycheck on rent
For years on end before holding forth
On the triumph of justice. Which always comes
At least twenty-five years too late.
You should study a philosopher’s work through the prism
Of experience or wearing glasses (which nearly amounts to the same thing),
As when the letters run together and
The naked dame on the rumpled sheets is once again
A photograph for you or a reproduction
Of an artist’s painting. Genuine love of
Wisdom does not insist on reciprocity
And ends not in marriage
To a hefty tome published in Göttingen
But in indifference to oneself,
In the blush of shame; sometimes, in an elegy.
(Somewhere, a streetcar clangs, eyelids droop,
Soldiers return from a brothel, singing;
Only the rain is reminiscent of Hegel.)
Of experience or wearing glasses (which nearly amounts to the same thing),
As when the letters run together and
The naked dame on the rumpled sheets is once again
A photograph for you or a reproduction
Of an artist’s painting. Genuine love of
Wisdom does not insist on reciprocity
And ends not in marriage
To a hefty tome published in Göttingen
But in indifference to oneself,
In the blush of shame; sometimes, in an elegy.
(Somewhere, a streetcar clangs, eyelids droop,
Soldiers return from a brothel, singing;
Only the rain is reminiscent of Hegel.)
The truth is there is no
Truth. This doesn’t exempt us
From responsibility. On the contrary:
Ethics is the selfsame vacuum, filled by human
Behavior almost continuously;
The selfsame universe, if you like.
And the gods love the Good not for its eyes,
But because they wouldn’t exist were it not for the Good.
And they in turn fill the vacuum,
Perhaps even more systematically
Than we do, for we are
Unreliable. Although there are more of us
Than ever before, this is no Greece:
We are undone by low cloud cover and, as mentioned above, rain.
Truth. This doesn’t exempt us
From responsibility. On the contrary:
Ethics is the selfsame vacuum, filled by human
Behavior almost continuously;
The selfsame universe, if you like.
And the gods love the Good not for its eyes,
But because they wouldn’t exist were it not for the Good.
And they in turn fill the vacuum,
Perhaps even more systematically
Than we do, for we are
Unreliable. Although there are more of us
Than ever before, this is no Greece:
We are undone by low cloud cover and, as mentioned above, rain.
You should study philosophy when
You have no need of philosophy. When you have a hunch
The chairs in your living room and the Milky Way
Are interconnected, and more closely than causes and effects, than you
And your relatives. And that what constellations
And chairs have in common is insensibility, inhumanity.
This a bond stronger than copulation
Or blood! Naturally, you shouldn’t try
To resemble things. On the other hand, when
You’re ill, you don’t necessarily have to convalesce
Or worry how you look. This is what
People over fifty know. Hence, when they
Look into a mirror, they sometimes confuse aesthetics with metaphysics.
You have no need of philosophy. When you have a hunch
The chairs in your living room and the Milky Way
Are interconnected, and more closely than causes and effects, than you
And your relatives. And that what constellations
And chairs have in common is insensibility, inhumanity.
This a bond stronger than copulation
Or blood! Naturally, you shouldn’t try
To resemble things. On the other hand, when
You’re ill, you don’t necessarily have to convalesce
Or worry how you look. This is what
People over fifty know. Hence, when they
Look into a mirror, they sometimes confuse aesthetics with metaphysics.